Hi Valerie – this morning I watched a TV program

that dealt with gambling addiction; and I couldn’t help but compare it to what happens when someone gets “plugged into” an AMO. They are willing to risk everything: savings/relationships/childrens’ futures/legitimate employment/education…..the list goes on and on. Each “addict” seems to have a point where they finally realize that the “easy money” isn’t going to come – but I can’t predict how awful it will have to get, before your boyfriend realizes he’s just “another brick in the wall” (sorry – I’m showing my age!) But YOU need to determine at what point it will be prudent for you to leave lest you be dragged into the vortex with him. And my motherly advice would be to delay marrying this man until he’s free of the grasp of the “system”.

I wish I had more encouraging advice for you – but there are many older posts regarding relationships between pros and antis. Some antis were successful in rescuing their loved ones; others were not. Benefit from the wisdom they have shared, and do what’s best for you.

You have every reason to be scared to death

If your boyfriend conducts business as the systems teach, it will definitely become the center of your life. You will plan everything around the meetings, functions, prospecting, plans, etc.. Vacations are business- centered. (You’ll go to some lovely places for functions, you just won’t have any free time to see them. You’ll be stuck in a rah-rah meeting until the wee hours of the morning.) The system teaches that every family get-together is a prospecting venue. Some systems even have the gall to suggest the proper time in your business to have children. Or buy a car. And what kind to buy.

I’m pulling for you, I hope your boyfriend sees the light and runs for the hills. Hopefully you can find some support and encouragement on this board. I’ve really been impressed with the wisdom of these people…

Take care

Your fears are well grounded and realistic

At some point, you will have to decide whether you’re willing to remain in his life while he destroys it. . . or his upline might force him to choose between you and the “business.”

You need to educate yourself about cults, and about how they recruit and retain members. There are book recommendations in a number of previous posts. Just do a search here on “cult”

If you don’t get him out now

it’s not gonna end anytime soon, I was in for 12 years, and i told my girlfriend that i would have her retired, she found someone else who made more money then i did and left me, I spent thousands of dollars, and there going to suck out every dime they can, thru tapes, books, meetings, functions, leadership meetings, Even barbeques.

I’m sorry that you are having this experience, but it is real

Your family members are in a cult like experience. I’m not sure if you have receieved advice yet, but one thing I can say as someone that was sucked into it, I was very thankful that my loved ones were still there for me when I got out of the fog of MLM. I guess I would just say love them in spite of the fact that what is coming out their mouths is garbage. I hope they see the light soon and back away from Arbonne.

Tim Sales is just another mlm guru

that is profitting off MLMers by selling books, tapes, websites, leads, blah, blah, blah. He is very smooth sounding but he is promoting MLM which this online group here wholeheartedly is against. His message is the the same as any other guru though he does come off as credible as he has tought mlm at a university etc, was in the navy etc. But don’t be fooled. MLM is MLM however you spin it.

I can help you with some general signs

Shakey operations tend to really emphasize positive thinking. As an older guy I knew said, “Let me tell you, if I’m making money, I will have a positive attitude.” He also added, “If I want a positive attitude, I can go to church.”

The overpriced product, the Amway ten dollar bottle of shampoo. ‘Concentrated, so that just a little pea-sized portion in the palm of your hand. Such good quality for your hair . . . ‘
Well, how many people are going to be buying a ten dollar bottle of shampoo, and how often, especially if it does last as long as they say?

And the all-time biggest sign of a rip-off sales organization: They drive you around a neighborhood in white vans!

(Learn from seasoned poker players, fold the hand early)

The same older salesman told me, in response to claims that it doesn’t matter what you’re selling, that a good salesperson–“Well, let me tell you, it does matter what you’re selling!”

I too was hoodwinked by MLMs because

I was deluded enough to think that their products would supplement my family’s income. I have seen enough companies (at least 6 of them) with the MLM format to discern that most of them follow the same modus operandi:

1) to recruit new members and tell them that anyone can make money with their system

2) to feed them false hopes that anyone can sell even without business training or capital

3) that they can have the opulent lifestyle they have been dreaming of for years by being a member of the MLM

4) that this scheme is controversial (but it works) because it can generate income if you recruit more and more people for your downline & sell their products (it’s more of the former than the latter),so its ‘enemies’ conspire to bring this system down.

By ‘enemies’,they mean people who are against the system either by dropping out of it,being ignorant (not trying MLM at all and condemning it wholesale) or being intimidated (since its earning potential conflicts with their business interests)

Therefore,the MLM proponents claim that people drop out of the system because they are ignorant,not well trained,did not try hard enough or did not use the system at all due to some bias.